Grown
by MichaelTrey
Summary: Professor Severus Snape hadn't expected to run into a suicidal Harry Potter. What on earth is going on with the perfect Boy Who Lived? TRIGGER WARNING: Suicidal behaviour and self-injury.


**Authors Note: I'd like to take the time to thank you for choosing to read this story. I've never attempted to write a Harry Potter fanfiction, but I'm absolutely thrilled to have done so. I hope you enjoy my very first story, and I wish you the very best.**

 **I'd also like to put a trigger warning on this story as it references some things that may trouble certain people. Such things include depression, anxiety, self-harm, and suicide.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters associated with the franchise. J.K Rowling does. This was written and published for entertainment purposes only.**

* * *

"Bloody hell", Severus whispered harshly as he shook his hand. He had been brewing some potions for the hospital wing and had burnt his finger while doing so.

"Curses. Where's your head, Snape?" He wasn't usually this careless, but he had been up late most nights doing this and had become extremely exhausted. Not only was he spending his evenings brewing extra potions, but marking students work before dinner and teaching the little brats all day.

Severus carefully emptied the last of the potion into vials for Madam Pomfrey and stored them for the morning. He then tidied up his workspace and decided it was time for bed.

Before turning in for the night, however, Severus thought it would be wise to do one last round of the castle. The Potions Master was always on the hunt to find students out of their common rooms after hours, and he was even more than willing to deduct points from those students. He left the dungeons quickly and began his rounds.

* * *

"I can't do this anymore", a tired Harry whispered from the Owlery. Harry Potter had spent most nights sitting by the window in the Owlery. He knew it wasn't the most pleasant of places to hang out but it was private. Harry didn't mind the owls or the mess they left.

"I just can't take this shit anymore." The boy who lived had grown tired over the years. He was in his third year at Hogwarts and Harry had felt like his life had become more and more difficult to handle. He was tired all the time, and nothing made him feel worth the fight.

Harry winced as he brought a blade to his skin. He had begun cutting his arm over the summer with a blade he had broken off from a sharpener. Harry had found that the bruises he would purposely inflict weren't doing it anymore for him, and the beatings he received from his cousin and uncle had just started to feel numb now. Harry cut deep into his scarred arm and allowed the blood to drip down towards his hand. It was a glorious sensation, and it kept getting more and more incredible each time he did it.

As the blood poured from his arm, Harry looked down out of the window. It was fairly high up and he wondered if anyone had ever fallen. Harry sighed and blinked away a tear. _Or perhaps someone may have jumped?_

No, he couldn't really be thinking about that, right? The famous Harry Potter, the boy who lived and fought Voldemort more than once, thinking about ending his life?

Harry sobbed. He really did want to die at this point. "They're all better off without me anyway."

* * *

Snape has been stalking around the castle and had managed to catch two fifth years snogging in the halls by the transfiguration room. He had been delighted to lecture the Ravenclaws and took great satisfaction out of taking 20 house points off of them. "Teenagers. Hormones." He groaned and made his way up to the Owlery.

Severus knew that it was the perfect place to hide after hours. He too found himself up there during his time at Hogwarts as a young Slytherin. Still, he may have broken school rules back then, but he wasn't allowing other students to do so.

As he entered the tower he noticed a figure sitting by the window. Upon closer inspection, he recognised the figure to be Harry. Figures, he thought, and he shook his head.

"Potter!"

Harry jumped at the sound of Snape's shout. "Professor!"

Severus took a few steps closer and Harry pulled down his sleeve quickly. "What are you doing out of your common room at this hour? In fact, what are doing out of bed?"

Harry bit his lip and let his head fall. What did it matter? Who really cared? It was only eleven thirty, and at this point, Harry could really care less what happened to him while out late.

"Well? Speak Mr Potter!"

Harry stared at his shoes. "It doesn't matter."

"Pardon?"

"It doesn't matter, sir!" Harry didn't mean to shout but it had happened anyway. His lip began to tremble and he sniffed, holding back tears.

Severus blinked. _Was the boy crying?_

"It certainly does matter, Potter." Snape wasn't sure how to respond to the situation in front of him. Harry was definitely upset, and he was definitely crying. Teachers are trained on how to respond to an upset student, but Severus was never really good at it. He'd usually send them on their way to the hospital wing, or to their head of house. Slytherins never liked to show weakness so it was rare for him to have to deal with an emotional student from his house. The only times he would have to would be over a silly relationship feud, and he'd always tell them to snap out of it.

"It doesn't, sir." Harry sniffed again and started to shake. He wasn't going to let a teacher see him cry. Especially Professor Snape!

Severus took another step closer and narrowed his eyes. "I suggest you improve your attitude, Mr Potter before I give you detention as well as taking house points."

"Go ahead. I really don't care." Harry was in no spirit to argue, nor did he have the strength to fight back.

Snape was taken back slightly by the boy's softly spoken response. He sounded almost weak, or sickly. He wasn't sure if it were because he was crying, or something else was the matter.

"Are you ill?"

Harry shook his head.

"You sound like perhaps you might be." The Professor took another step towards Harry and the lighting from the moon helped him see the boy more clearly. Narrowing his eyes once more he studied him and noticed the dark liquid spreading through his sleeves. He knew it had to be blood and he took Harry's wrist which made Harry wince.

"You're injured."

Harry shook his head. "It's nothing. I'm fine."

Severus stared at him for a moment and then back at his arm. Ignoring the boy, he pulled up his sleeve to reveal a horrid mess. Potters arm was covered in cuts and scars. Some very deep. It didn't take a genius to realise that they were self-inflicted and he widened his eyes in disbelief.

"What on earth have you been doing, Potter?"

"It's nothing! Leave it alone!" Harry pulled his arm away from his teacher and pulled his legs up to his chest in defence.

"You're cutting your arm. On purpose, you are indeed NOT fine."

Severus couldn't believe the boy had been doing such a thing. Perfect Harry Potter. _Why on earth would he do this?_ Snape had known about self-harm. It was something he struggled with as a child. It was also something teachers at the school had to be made aware of, and report if they suspected a student was doing it.

"It helps me." Harry bit his lip and took a deep breath in.

"Mr Potter stand up and follow me to the hospital wing."

Harry shook his head. "No".

Severus gritted his teeth. "Don't test my patience. You are to follow me now."

Harry glared at the wall in front of him and turned his head to face Snape. Tears began to fall again and he started sobbing. "No! I don't care what you do to me. Take points, give me detention, yell, beat me, hex me, expel me! I don't care!"

 _Beat him? Hex him? What on earth was going on with the boy?_ Snape was a strict teacher, and not a very well-liked teacher, but he never lay a hand on his students. Well except for the occasional wack over the head with a book now and then.

"Pull yourself together, Potter."

Harry shook his head. "What's the point?" He stood up onto the window sill and looked down at the ground below him. "What's the fucking point?"

Severus stepped forward quickly. "Get down from there, what on earth are you doing? Stupid boy!"

Harry began to cry. "No! I'm done, Snape. I'm done with all of this." He took another look at the ground and shook his head. "I can't do it anymore."

Severus was in complete shock. The boy was attempting to take his own life, and he had no idea what to do, except to grab him or cast a charm.

"You don't know what you're doing, Potter. Now get down before I take matters into my own hands."

Harry continued to cry. "Just go away. You hate me enough to want me dead anyway."

Snape sighed in frustrated. "That is not true. Having you dead would be a complete waste of everything I've done."

Harry frowned. "Oh it would be such an inconvenience to you wouldn't it Snape?"

The Potions Master groaned. "It certainly would be a damn waste of a life!"

"My life isn't worth living!" Harry shouted. His sobs becoming more hysterical.

"I didn't mean yours. I meant your mothers!"

Harry froze and looked his teacher in the eyes.

"If you killed yourself, everything your mother did would have been a waste. You dying would be a damn selfish thing to do."

Harry continued to stare at Snape, his tears still falling and he continued to sob.

Severus closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Look, things are obviously extremely difficult for you right now. But suicide is not the answer. Believe me. Now get down, Harry."

 _Harry? Did he just call me Harry?_ Harry took one last look to the ground below and took a step off the window sill and back onto the ground in front of his Potions Master.

Severus exhaled sharply, a sense of relief and frustration blanketed over him. He had known that if Harry did try anything, that he could have easily had stopped him, but had thought that talking him down on his own would have been a better first attempt.

"Good. Now..." Severus took his arm again and pulled up his sleeves.

"Would you like me to heal these now? Or take you to the hospital wing?"

Harry shrugged in defeat. He still didn't care. He still hated everything.

Snape eyed the cuts and pulled down his sleeve. "Come with me."

Harry did as he asked and followed the Professor down the stairs and into the castle. They walked at a steady pace through the halls and towards the dungeons.

"You're not taking me to the hospital wing?"

"No", Snape answered, leading him down the steps towards his Potions classroom.

When they reached the room, Severus gestured to a chair. "Sit."

Harry did as he asked and watched Snape leave the room but return quickly with a bowl, some vials and a sponge.

"Pull your sleeve up." The Professor poured some liquid from one of the vials into the bowl along with some water.

Once his sleeve was up, Harry watched as Snape dipped the sponge into the bowl.

"This might sting a bit, but not for too long. It's a cleansing potion. It will keep the cuts clean and free from germs and bacteria." He placed the sponge softly on his arm and Harry winced.

"I thought you could heal with a charm, sir?"

Severus continued dabbing the boy's cuts softly with the sponge. "I can. But I won't just yet." The truth was, Severus thought that maybe the boy needed some sort of comfort. He could have easily healed him and then take him to Professor Dumbledore, but instead, he thought he would take a little more care of the boy. It's what Lily would have wanted for him.

"Now hold still while I now use a charm to heal you." In didn't take long for Harry's arm to look like new with no evidence of cuts or scars.

"I still don't understand why you cleaned them."

Severus ignored the comment and put the bowl and vials aside. He pulled up a chair in front of Harry and frowned. "I'm going to forget about you breaking the school rules and being out late."

Harry looked at the Professor in confusion. "O-ok".

"And I'm going to report what happened to the headmaster and Professor McGonagall."

Harry sighed. "I figured you would."

"I have a duty of care, Potter, and we are dealing with a suicidal and extremely depressed student here." Severus frowned.

Harry looked down at his hands. "Fine."

"I don't think we will be sleeping tonight Harry, so I'll have you stay here tonight and help me brew some potions, and come sunrise, we'll report to Professor Dumbledores office."

Harry frowned in confusion and nodded slowly. "Alright, sir."

* * *

 **Authors Note: So, at first I was prepared to have this story be only a one-shot, but I've had some ideas come to me and so have decided to have it be a chapter story. Feedback would be highly appreciated.**


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